this week in my life: checking things off the list

This semester I started using iCal to document my busy schedule and use its nifty to-do list on the right side of the screen so I could keep track of my dozens of reading and writing assignments. The to-do list allows you to check off what's been completed, and I'll also delete completed items to move more yet-to-be-completed items up higher. And this week, the to-do list started to fit into the window without scrolling down to see more.

The semester is almost over. The end is in sight.

this week in the news: beating that school up north

That's six straight!
The Buckeyes beat M*ch*g*n and took the outright Big Ten title. Even when that team is terrible, it's still a good feeling to watch Ohio State run right over them. I'm smelling roses.

freewrite: this can't be good

If you've ever wanted to be transformed into a different person — literally — then perhaps you should check out whatever product this ad was selling.


Are we really expected to believe that's the same person?

I can't figure out what type of people believe these ads, and I'm not entirely sure how this doesn't constitute as illegal false advertising. Also, the guy in the top photo is kind of ripped already, just lacking the height and the tan — which, apparently you can get when you're taking whatever drug this ad was selling.

distractions: play her off!

my life in photos: man & wife

media day: Onion News Network (video)

Who doesn't love The Onion, right? And if you do, you also will love the Onion News Network (video) podcast, delivered to your iTunes every week.

The podcast takes you to different shows on ONN and O-SPAN, including panel discussions and the network's version of a morning news show. The morning news show, "Today NOW!" might be my favorite, with the bright-eyed ignorance of the show's hosts. And the topics are funny, as is The Onion's style, like the recent episodes about picking out a masculine Halloween costume for your effeminate son and a realistic military video game that involves hours of repairing Humvees and debating the attractiveness of Jessica Beil and Shakira.

My favorite episode might be one in which the news anchors discuss how police were able to determine the source of a house fire that occurred during a college party by sifting through hundreds of photos on Facebook, which clearly showed how the fire was unintentionally set by a partygoer who dropped a cigarette.

Older episodes can be viewed on The Onion's YouTube channel. Just a warning: Probably not safe for kids or work, so viewer discretion is advised.

thumbs up: long-term relationship

I just switched to this shampoo last week, and I am loving it so far. My hair smells so fantastic. I'm not sure if it is treating my hair any better than the Garnier I just gave up, but I know that I'm liking the way it's smelling, and with my hair as long as it's getting, a shampoo and conditioner made for long hair is probably the way to go.

this week in my life: how to catch a cat

After several weeks of frustration, several nights of trying to coax a cat into a cage he is afraid of, my friend finally lured Tux into a trap. This cat is so smart, but so dumb. So after helping my friend try different methods and foods and ways to trick a cat that is too smart to be tricked, I have some pointers:

• If you've already trapped him once, you will need to try to trap him a different way the second time around. He will remember.

• Don't let him watch you trap his friend in the same trap in which you're trying to get him to go. His fear of the trap will magnify.

• Don't fill the trap with mackerel and tuna. If he's not used to eating it, he'll think something fishy is going on.

• Don't feed him outside of the trap every night after he refuses to go into the trap to eat. He will continue to refuse to go into the trap because he know food will be coming later.

• Make sure anyone else who has ever fed this feral cat knows they're not supposed to feed him. Otherwise, he will stop going to you for food and never go in the trap.

• If he doesn't go in the trap, leave without giving him any food — no matter how difficult it is to walk away from a crying cat who you know is hungry and cold.

So how did we end up catching him? My friend began with just feeding him the same thing she always had — one can of Fancy Feast and a few Friskies on a small paper plate. I told her he probably was suspicious of the big pile of stinky fish, and maybe remembered that his friend had been trapped when that stuff was there. She set the plate near the trap, and every day she moved it closer until it was at the doorway of the trap. She moved the plate back farther in the trap every day until he went all the way into the back of the trap to eat. Then she set it. Of course, the first day she set it, Tux was nowhere to be find. Must have been one of those days that he got food elsewhere or was too cold to come out to find her. But the next day, he went in, tripped the trap, and went off to live in the cat shelter.

I missed his departure, but she called me while she was taking him to his new home. I could hear the stupid cat crying through the phone.

So somehow I got attached to this cat, and the cat person inside me has come out because of it. I am looking forward to visiting Tux at the shelter. That's stupid, right? It's a feral cat that I've never even pet. But he knows my voice and meows at me, and he's followed me when I've walked away. I feel like we're buddies, and I'm going to miss seeing him on a regular basis.

this week in the news: overreaction

Your 15 minutes are up
If you ever needed proof that people should not write memoirs just because they did something at some point that other people noticed, watch Carrie Prejean flip out on "Larry King Live." Also, I would like to point out that I believe her to be incorrect about her "double standard" statement — apparently, she missed all the conservative media trashing on Hillary Rodham Clinton. Also, I love Larry King's face when she tells him he's being inappropriate. If anyone is being inappropriate, it's Carrie Prejean. I'm sorry you spent so much time "writing" a book, but that's no reason to disrespect a well-liked, trusted newsman to get more people interested in you and talking about you. Actually, I hate that I'm doing it right now. But don't worry, I'm not going to buy your book, nor will I read it; I'm sure many people feel the same after your "performance" on "Larry King Live."

freewrite: Cheryl Stories

I don't remember who named my rambling thoughts first, but for at least 10 years I've been known for telling "Cheryl Stories." You know, those stories that never end and don't really have a point and I start laughing halfway through them. I give too much unnecessary detail and go off onto tangents and have trouble focusing and sometimes forget why I was telling the story in the first place. So, kind of like I blog. And now that I'm writing this out and am confusing myself about it, I can understand people who are surprised when they find out I've never done drugs. For the record, that was a tangent.

My friends have often laughed at me for trying to tell these Cheryl Stories, and my siblings like to say things like, "Great story." Especially Emily. That's when I realize that these stories I thought were great and would be good to tell or repeat or attempt to reenact have actually failed and I probably should have stuck my foot in my mouth at the beginning.

So I'm not entirely sure what to make of a recent situation in which I found myself. I'm in an online class that takes place on a social networking site, and each week we post assignments on our blogs and leave comments on each others' profiles and have discussions on forums. For an assignment I posted on my blog a couple of weeks ago, I included a few paragraphs giving some context and additional details about some information I found while researching that had no real place in my assignment but that I wanted to share with the class. My professor, who often replies with questions or in some other way tries to encourage conversation about the assignments, left one short comment on that blog posting:

"Great story."

All I can hear in my voice is Emily's sarcastic "Great story" while everyone else in the room laughs.

So now I keep imagining that my professor was just making fun of me.

And Emily knows I'm saying this lovingly, right? I know, I know: This was a great story.